Rage Agaist the Mini Van

I hope you take time to read this post that was written by a sweet young woman. Her words are well placed and need to be heard. YOU can make a difference in the life of one like her.

The topic of single adults who's desire it is to be married yet for some reason God has not opened that door is one that is not acknowledged much at all in life and in 'church.'
I was single for 10 years longer than I would have planned and I can tell you that depression, anger and loneliness were a dark cloud over me constantly. Always wondering 'Why?'

I am married now and have the family I cried out for all of those years and I rejoice, thank and praise God for where He has allowed me to walk!

My twin sister is 37 and still longs for companionship. My heart aches for her. Truly.
The blog post link below sheds a clearer light into this life of adult singleness and it's pain. I share it with you hoping you can and will be more sensitive to those in this situation in your life and can minister to them more effectively.
Read the post here: http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2011/04/what-i-want-you-to-know-being-33-and.html

Christian Kids Radio Online

I know it has been a long time since I posted anything ~ no excuses here.
But I did want to say Happy 2011 to you all and I also wanted to share a great FREE resource for you and your children.

While my kids are at the table for eating or playing playdoh I play Karen & Kids radio online. Check it out I think you may be pleased. I am all for filling my children's heart and mind with godly things. Let no time be idol.

Free Character Building Tools!

I am so excited to announce (in case you haven’t already heard), that Focus on the Family has created a character building tool for parents to use at home! All of the materials are downloadable and FREE!

Have a look for yourself!

Kids of Integrity

www.kidsofintegrity.com

I Got Paid Today!

Paid? You may be wondering just how a stay at home mom (SAHM) gets paid.
This is how.

Actual Occurrence:

Mom takes three little ones to the Public Library. Children are ages 4 years, 2 years and 4 months.

While at the library another mom observes her child and how all of the kids are interacting with each other. This mom says to me (paycheck time!), "Your kids are so polite!"

At that moment I was not sure what to say. It caught me off guard. Not that my kids are all that bad... it is just that it was a huge compliment to me.

I have posted about it before but this is what has worked WONDERS for our family.

When one child wants something that another child has, Grabbing is Not allowed. If you want it, ask for it kindly by saying, "May I have a turn?" The child who has the item can respond in two ways, 1) Yes you may
or 2)You may when I am finished.
It still surprises me when I see it work.
100% of the time grabbing causes trouble.
95% of the time asking kindly they get what they want with peace.

When they need a little coaxing I simply say, "Are you choosing to be peacemaker or a trouble-maker?"

This works for our family. I know that combinations of personality styles as well as other factors has lots to do with it. It certainly pays to be consistant and to not give up. Ah, how rewarding it is when they use it and (humbly) when others see the fruit of your labor. When others see it, it is an opportunity for me to share how we got to that point. I can assure you it doesn't just happen naturally.

Why we chose Parent-directed Parenting

This is an actual email someone sent to me. The child she is refering to is 5 years old. This has been going on for that long. Remember the days of caring for a newborn? How about letting that kind of sleep (or lack thereof) go on for 5+ years!

This is a good reminder of WHY mom and dad make the decisions and NOT the children (as hard as even that can be sometimes).

I was basically up ALL night. After my last note to you, I went out to tidy in the living room, thinking I would have time to do some things. I was alone for about 10 min and then out comes L. She was cold, lost her teddy bear, etc. We are trying to keep her from coming into our bed at least until after 6am. So, I got her things fixed up and laid with her to warm her up. I was wide awake anyway, so I just laid there and prayed about things. That was from 1:15-1:50. I decided to go into my bed and out she came at 2:30. She had to use the bathroom. I went back in with her until 3:30, hoping she would get into a better sleep. I fell asleep there and was resigned to spend the night sleeping there. Then the dog had to go outside and was full-body banging between L's door and our door where D was sleeping. He couldn't hear it, so up I got again! It was almost 4 by then. I finally fell into bed then and slept until nearly 6:45 when L came in for the last time. We get up at 7:20 for school! O what a night!!!!! So, I am hoping to sleep from now until 10:40. L's home at 11.
Anyway, crazy, crazy night!!!!

Loving Daughters

The Bible tells us this about daughters in Psalm 144:12-13, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: that our garners may be full.”

As corner-stones, polished after the similitude of palace, God desires that our daughters grow up to become strong and beautiful ~ and adorned with all the ornaments belonging to their sex. What are the “ornaments” that the Bible teaches belong to the female sex? Titus 2:4-5 describes them as: soberness, love for family, discretion, purity, excellent housekeeping, goodness, and submission to authority.

That’s a tall order, isn’t it? And the reason that it is so important that our daughters be taught and trained in these areas is because (as the Treasury of David so wisely puts it), “Daughters unite families as corner stones join walls together, and at the same time, they adorn them as polished stones garnishing the structure into which they are builded.”

Daughters are an important part of every family, and it is our duty to teach them how to be a blessing to our families now so that they will understand how to be a blessing to the family they will marry into later on.

Matthew Henry writes, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace or temple. By daughters families are united and connected to their mutual strength, as the parts of a building are by the cornerstones; and when they are graceful and beautiful both in body and mind, they are then polished after the similitude of a nice and curious structure. When we see our daughters well established, and stayed with wisdom and discretion, as cornerstones are fastened in the building; when we see them by faith united to Christ, as the chief cornerstone, adorned with the graces of God's Spirit, which are the polishing of that which is naturally rough, and "become women professing godliness"; when we see them purified and consecrated to God as living temples, we think ourselves happy in them.”

So, how are we to go about accomplishing so great a task?

First of all, we must remember that daughters have a great need for love and security.

1. Daughters need to be treated with kindness.

2. Daughters feel loved when we are patient with them.

3. A critical spirit is a destructive thing to a daughter’s spirit ~ it causes her to feel insecure about who she is and what she is able to do.

4. Comparison also causes daughters to feel insecure about themselves. Daughters are in desperate need of acceptance in order to become the polished corner stone of the family that God desires them to be.

5. It’s a mothers job to identify the special needs that her daughter has and help her to overcome or practically accommodate them.

6. Mothers must be careful not attribute motives, nor take offense, lose patience, or take the ridiculous things that daughters do too personally.

7. Mothers must remember that daughters need to be raised in a happy, loving home in order to feel totally secure. No amount of love, compliments or kindness will make up for the fear that is brought into a daughter’s heart by marital strife or divorce.

Secondly, daughters need to be taught to control their emotions.

1. Whining, gossiping and complaining should not be tolerated. Make every effort to train your daughter to be sensible by teaching her how to be thankful, patient and kind as she deals with her every day issues of life.

2. Emotions must be taught to follow and not allowed to lead. The best teacher is example. Make it your goal to be a good example of this so that your daughter can “see” how this is done.

3. Daughters must be taught that they may not use their “hormones” as an excuse for sin!

4. Teach your daughter how to manage her tears. There is a time for tears ~ when they are hurt, when someone they know or see is seriously injured or dies. But crying is not something that should continue on and on ~ they should be short and brief. Even in the case of death of a loved one: there is a time to cry, and there is a time to cease from crying.

5. The same goes for silliness. Giggling and acting giddy is fine at times, but too much of it makes a girl ridiculous.

Thirdly, daughters must be raised to embrace their femininity.

1. Daughters should be taught to be home-centered. They should be encouraged to love working with their hands ~ both in housework and handiwork.

2. Daughters should be encouraged to wear dresses, fix their hair and want to look pretty.

a. However, we must be diligent to encourage them to be MODEST and pretty. The female body is a beautiful creation of God and modesty teaches them that it is a precious thing that must be saved for their future husband (and not the whole world) to enjoy.

b. We also must be careful not to raise our daughters to be too prissy or “primadonas” who only a mother and father is able to tolerate and love :).

3. Daughters must be encouraged to play with toys that will encourage her to home-centered and not bedroom-centered. (Baby dolls rather than Barbie dolls)

4. Daughters must be taught and trained how to respond to the men around them.

a. Daughters have a God given need for male attention. Teach them when they are little how to love and serve Dad, so that Dad will enjoy being around them.

b. Teach your daughter how to respect her Dad and brothers. This is will prepare her to enjoy good success when she is married to her own man later on.

Mothers are the role models for their daughters, and it is important that we realize that we are teaching our daughters every day by the way we live. As Christian mothers, it is vital that we commit ourselves to living as the godly women that we would want our daughters to grow up to become. This is a tall order, but one which is certainly possible as we grow in the grace and knowledge of our loving God.

Another great article by Mrs. Julie Fink @ Lessons for Ladies

Visit her blog and be blessed by her Bible Studies!

More creative fun!

A couple of days ago while waisting more time reading blogs.... I came across
a creation that was not so much of a waist of time. It was unique but simple and oh so much fun!

Have a look at this newspaper hut! We did this right away and it really was much simpler than it looks. Please note I did this with my 3.5 year old and my 2 year old and I am minutes away from delivering #3! It is just that easy and fun!


I'd love to hear from you if you decide to try it! I will definitely be doing this again.

Note: I gave my kids fair warning that this structure will break eventually and not to be disappointed when it does for we will be building another one soon!

Scheduling your Child's day (preschool age)

I thrive off of structure but kids sometimes throw a kink in that plan. My ideal day would be to plan an activity for every half hour. Toggling between alone play and together time. BUT reality says....

Wake, dress

Breakfast

table time activity (play doh, coloring, art)

Short video

Large motor activity (walk outdoors, play in basement)

Prep Lunch

Eat lunch

Read books

Nap Blanket time (sit on blanket on floor and play with a toy or look at books - no getting off the blanket)(you will need to train him to do this)

Dancing/music

time Table time while you prep dinner

Eat dinner

Tickle time with dad or outing

Bath

Read

Bed.

I don't like to put times on it other than eating and sleep times. Commiting to a time for each just frustrates me and the kids.
If you are having a hard time with it plan one structured activity for the morning and one for afternoon. Between meals and naps it will give you some freedom to think and breath until you get a more regular schedule.
I do have a wonderful list of activites that can be done with mom and without mom for appropriate age levels. This list has really helped me especially with the younger ones.
I also have an activity book from Meijer. The brand is called School Zone. Look for the PRESCHOOL one and tear a page out each day for him to work on. Or simply print coloring sheets from preschool printable websites. That way you can print things that interst him at that time. You have no idea how much free stuff is online for preschoolers.


Activities for Babies (0-12 Months)
Alone
Pop Up Toys

Mobiles

Swing

Johnny Jump Up

Baby Mirror

Soft Blocks

Toys That Can Be ChewedBooks (Cloth)

Crib Gyms

Infant Seat (To See Things from Different Perspectives)

Bouncy Chair

Rattles or other toys that make sounds

Mom And Baby

Feeding

Rocking

Play Time On Blanket (Mom Helps Baby Develop Skills)

Singing/Eye Contact/Rhymes

Read

Bath Time

Walking

Activities for Toddlers (18 Months - 2 Years) Alone

Playtime in Crib/Playpen

Play Center (Theme)

Blanket Time

Magnetic Numbers (at fridge or magnetic cook sheet on a blanket on the floor)

Letters on Refrigerator

Dress Up

Shape Sorting toys

Play doh

Sit Time with Books

High Chair Toys

Paint with Water

Large piece Puzzles

Throw cards (from a deck of card or flash cards) into a laundry basket or a hat

Toy bulldozer in tin of dry rice or noodles (at table or highchair)

Nesting/Stacking ToysListening Tapes



With Mom

Cooking Time (Real Or Play)

Stamping/Stickers

Rice/Corn Meal

PlayThrowing Bean Bags in Container

Reading

Prayer Time [at meals and bedtime]

Outdoor Play

Walk

Baby Pool

Paint with Water On Patio

Sand Box

Bubbles

Outdoor Toys

Activities For Preschoolers (2 Years - 5 Years)
Alone

Color / bingo dabbers

Playdoh

Toys at Table

Stamping Finger Paint or Paint on paper with water

Peg Boards

Sit Time/Blanket Time (practice self-control by sitting and playing on blanket for an extended period)

Listening Tapes

Magnet Numbers/Letters On Refrigerator

Water Play at Sink

Books

Computer [limited]

Lego’s

Sticker Books

Puzzles

Chalkboard

Picture Time

Stencils

Room Time

Video time [limited 30 min. per day]

Dress Up

Learning to use a pencil - print letters

Stringing Beads

Lace Cards (use old greeting cards glued together and punch holes around the edges to lace yarn through)

Corn Meal/Rice Play

People/Animal Figures

With Mom

Cut With Safety Scissors

Cooking

Reading

Prayer Time

Finger-paint

Games

Crafts

Character Quality Explanation/Stories

Chores (Training)

Watering Plants

Plucking grapes from stems (throwing squishy ones away)

Picking up toys on Patio

Sweeping

Putting Silverware Away From Dishwasher

Cleaning Fronts of Appliances

Window Washing

Set Table

Folding Laundry

Dusting

Cleaning Mirrors

Outdoors [*with direct supervision for sure]

Swim

*Chalk

Sand Box

Walking

Shaving Cream on Picnic Table

Gardening

*Water Hose

*Bubbles

Riding/Outdoor Toys

Paint with Water

For a more extensive list, see What Every Child Should Know Along the Way By Gail Martin.

Teaching your child how to honor you and others

This is an article I appreciated and thought I'd share it here:

One of the ways that parents can teach honor to children is to include it in the instruction process. You might say, “I’d like you to obey me by setting the table, then I want you to think of something extra to do to surprise me. That’s showing honor. You choose; it’s up to you. Report to me when you’re done and I’ll check your work.”
Surprising parents delights them and focuses on something they want or need. Instructing children to surprise you by doing something extra teaches them to think about your needs and desires not just getting away with the bare minimum. When your child does an extra task, it’s like giving you a gift. Receive the gift with delight. This can be a fun way to teach honor.
Honor involves doing more than what's expected. All family members need to learn honor and children can learn it when parents teach it. So look for ways to teach kids to do more than what's expected in daily life. It will not only make family life better now but it will also help kids be more successful as they get older.

This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Teach Them to Pray

An exerpt from:

THE DUTIES OF PARENTS.
J.C. (John Charles) Ryle of Liverpool
1816-1900

"Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies in your power to train them up to a habit of
prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind
them if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, at any rate, if they never
call on the name of the Lord.
This, remember, is the first step in religion which a child is able to take. Long before he can read,
you can teach him to kneel by his mother's side, and repeat the simple words of prayer and praise
which she puts in his mouth. And as the first steps in any undertaking are always the most
important, so is the manner in which your children's prayers are prayed, a point which deserves
your closest attention. Few seem to know how much depends on this. You must beware lest they
get into a way of saying them in a hasty, careless, and irreverent manner. You must beware of
giving up the oversight of this matter to servants and nurses, or of trusting too much to your
children doing it when left to themselves. I cannot praise that mother who never looks after this
most important part of her child's daily life herself. Surely if there be any habit which your own
hand and eye should help in forming, it is the habit of prayer. Believe me, if you never hear your
children pray yourself, you are much to blame.
Prayer is, of all habits, the one which we recollect the longest. Many a grey-headed man could
tell you how his mother used to make him pray in the days of his childhood. Other things have
passed away from his mind perhaps. The church where he was taken to worship, the minister
whom he heard preach, the companions who used to play with him, all these, it may be, have
passed from his memory, and left no mark behind. But you will often find it is far different with
his first prayers. He will often be able to tell you where he knelt, and what he was taught to say,
and even how his mother looked all the while. It will come up as fresh before his mind's eye as if
it was but yesterday.
Reader, if you love your children, I charge you, do not let the seed-time of a prayerful habit pass
away unimproved. If you train your children to anything, train them, at least, to a habit of prayer."

The entire book can be accessed online at
http://www.premeditatedparenting.net/downloads/80_the_duties_of_parents_j_c_ryle.pdf