Valentine Lesson

With Valentine's Day coming up, we have been working on lots of heart projects.

This one is very special because of the application (that I stole from a dear friend).

I cut out a heart as large as I could from construction paper (we used red, purple and pink).

Then inside that heart I cut out another heart. That left me with a frame of a heart.

We set the heart frame inside a laminating sheet and carefully placed tissue paper squares in the open

space. Then we laminated it to make a beautiful sun catcher.

NOTE: You could make any kind of heart and laminate it or put it in a sheet protector for the same devotional lesson.

Then we ooooed and awed at how beautiful it was when we held it up to the window. The "Son" shines through and makes it more beautiful! Then I asked, "Who loves us MOST of all?"  I got a resounding, "God and Jesus!"

Then I took a black dry erase marker and told the kids, "This is what dark, dirty, sin looks like." And I scribbled all over the pretty heart. The kids we upset that I ruined the heart. I then explained that sin does that to our heart. It makes is ugly and dirty. But if we ask God to forgive us he will. Then I took a white Kleenex (Puffs Ultra to be exact) and said, "This is what Jesus does when we ask for forgiveness, He washes us clean and we look beautiful again. We are most beautiful when we seen the 'Son' shining through us."

The kids then spent time scribbling all over their hearts and teaching that same lesson to each other. We washed them clean and taped them in the window. Now we can be reminded throughout the day of how God has washed us clean!

Peace Enters the Home When a Child Submits Willfully

So, how do you get a defiant child to willfully submit to her parents authority?
Let me tell you what has worked wonders recently for us.
My 4 year old (middle child) daughter has been defiant and difficult since she was two. We were hoping that it was just that 'two's phase' and that it would pass. But now she is four and we see more anger, rebellion and aggression. Let me tell you it breaks my heart to see it. We did not raise her this way. Her brothers aren't like this. Why? Why all the fighting, strife and negativity at such a young age?
We used time outs, spankings, isolation in her bedroom (her rebellion would not keep her there), we we even tried time out in a car seat (that worked for a while). But as she grew she could McGyver her way out of the car seat too. We were prime candidates for Nanny 911.

So, at a point of heart break of tears on my end, once again, I sought council from a friend who teaches Growing Kids God's Way classes. I had heard what she told me before but I needed my memory refreshed cause my daughter was at an age where she could understand enough to be accountable.
Here is what we did and still do that seems to be working! I think it is loaded with wisdom!
When there is disobedience, I tell her she needs to go to her room until she can calm down and be a part of the family again. That usually goes over like a lead balloon. So I take her there (kicking, screaming and sometimes dragging). I tell her that she needs to sit on her bed until she has self control and to call me and I will come get her.  I also tell her that if she disobeys and comes out before she is ready that she will be chastised. I close the door and leave the room. (Another Lead balloon). She comes out 2 seconds later crying, angry and fighting. So I tell her that because she disobeyed she will need to get a spank. HERE IS THE KEY: "When you are ready for your spanking, you can come out of your room." Then, I buckle my lip and take her back to her bed, close the door. We do this how ever many times it takes (usually about 1/2 hour to 45 mins).
I was shocked the first time she said she was ready for a spanking. I thought it would never happen. Simply because I know how stubborn she can be. So I did spank her and then we hugged and talked. I told her I love her. We did this two times back to back the first day.
The second day she was and ANGEL! There were NO incidences that needed to be dealt with AT ALL! It was the most peaceful day I had had yet! She did express multiple times that she loved me and that she wanted me to cuddle with her or play with her. So I filled her little love tank and did some heart mending.
Since that first day we have only had to do that a handful of times and it has been about a month now!
Big difference. She seems much happier and cries lots less too.

Here is what happened. I was forcing her to be under my authority by just spanking her (causing both of us to be angry). This way, I give her time to come to her own agreement that mom is in authority. When I tell her to come to me when she is ready for the spanking, I am allowing her the freedom to submit when SHE is ready.
We have all heard that submission is not forced but willfully bending the heart to another's authority. The heart has to be right. Only she can do that. I can't ever MAKE her do that.
This is huge! And I see a difference in her heart! We love on each other much more than we used to. Our relationship is being built up instead of being torn down. Yes, at times we still have tears, anger and impatience but it is 99% better than it was. It is now manageable.

During a time of challenge with my almost 3 year old I sought council from a friend who has 5 children.

I learned alot in that 1/2 hr conversation.

My little girl was showing signs of anger and rebellion. Yes, two year olds are labeled as 'terrible' but this situation had a power behind it that was beyond what I even had imagined.

We PRAYED. We had our Pastor and Elders PRAY over her, we prayed more. It was ugly. I was in tears and didn't know what had happened to my little girl, how we got to this place and how to get out of it.

Here is what I learned.

My friend's words were.
"This is a time of restoration. Stop all chastisement (for a time) and show her LOVE. Respond differently to her."

Boy was that hard. The behaviors that were so disruptive to our home demanded some sort of correction. But I listened to my friend. I stopped chastising for the rebellion. I spoke softly to her. I sat on the floor more with her. I remained calm.

There was only one thing I would chastise for. Not coming when I called her name.
We practiced (and still do). "When mommy calls your name I want you to come to me and say, 'Okay mom, I am coming!' okay? I will go over here and you wait for me to call you."
For a week we did not leave our house. These issues can not be dealt with when in public can going out so much only allowed these habits to linger on. But that is a post for another day.

Each time she came to me when we practiced, she would get a reward. Sometimes it was an M&M, sometimes a hug, sometimes a high 5! The positive attention was winning back my little girl. I told her. "When you don't obey and don't come when I call you, I will spank you." Rarely does that even happen anymore. I say rarely. I know we will have to keep practicing!

Now, those other deviance's and rebellion do still show up. So instead of spanking her, my friend suggested time out in a confined area. Her bed was too much freedom. She would get out and throw things. The couch was too much freedom. She would flop her body all over and kick and get off the couch.
The solution was an extra 5 point harness car seat we had in storage. I would fasten her in every time there was a blow up. She would stay there until she was calm and her heart was willing to apologize for the offense.

It is working! Thanks be to our Lord who hears our prayers!

The time outs aren't lasting near as long as they used to. (At one time it lasted an hour and a half!

I have also learned that you can't make a child do anything. It really is all about relationship.

Some things we just need to learn on our own. But I thank God for women/moms who are willing to share their time and wisdom with me.
Thank you Julie!

A keeper!

Character First has some great materials to teach character building! They have lessons for the workplace, schools and for home. At our house we love the character cards. Click on the link I just gave you. You have to see this! I love it! It couldn't be any more simple than this!

They are baseball type cards (and come in a plastic baseball card holder sheets) with a picture of an animal on one side and on the other side is a specific characteristic, it's definition, the opposite of that character, and a short list of specific ways you can live out that character.

Each week we choose one of the cards to work on. It is nice because throughout the day I can repeat the word (new vocab) and point out to the kids that this is an opportunity to practice that new character!

These tools and web site do not mention that they have a Christian background (psst... I think they are but they keep it quiet to reach more people). It doesn't really matter. Their materials are helpful and certainly do a top notch job of stretching us to become better people.

I ordered series 1,2,3 and 4 of just the cards. The total came to about $12.00!
Then the good Lord, our Provider, had me pick up a Character First Cd at a used book sale BEFORE I had even heard of Character First. It wasn't till about 2 weeks later that I realized he had handed me (for $1.00) a cd with all of these characters put into song! Oh, He is so good to us! To God be the Glory.

Go. Check it out! You will not be sorry. And those around you may notice a change too!

More Treasures

Okay, I promised I would share with you more treasures we have in our home that I think truly shape us. This one is called, Wise Words for Moms.
It looks like a wall calendar. Which I think is a good idea cause it a quick reference guide to what to say when you interact with your children.

Inside is a list of behaviors a child may need addressed. For example: Whining.
Then next to it there are 2 or 3 heart probing questions you would ask the child. Ex: Are you communicating with a self-controlled voice?

Then there is a scripture that reproofs and one that encourages.
Reproof : "Whining is an ungodly form of communication." Titus 2:12
Encouragement: God wants you to use self control, even with your voice. Titus 2:12

Ginger Plowman lists a bunch of offenses to help steer our children toward pleasing God and knowing what the bible says about it.
Some are:
Revenge
Tattling
Selfishness
Lying
Destructiveness
Giving up
Defiant attitude
and more.

I love this little tool!

Treasures!

'Treasures' are what I like to call items/resources that truly impact our family.
Over the next few post I will introduce you to some of the resources that our family loves and that I are so good I will hold on to them for my grandchildren (eons from now).
The first is:

A Child's Book of Character Building Volume 1   by Ron & Rebekah Coriell

A Child's Book of Character Building Volume 2 by Ron & Rebekah Coriell This one is out of print but you can find it online. I did a google search for 'OUT OF PRINT BOOKS' and typed in the ISBN which is 080071265x. I got it for $10 cheaper than Volume 1! (and to be honest my kids like it a little better too)

These books are basic. One large picture on one side of the page and a one page story that gives a realistic example of a specific character quality. The neat thing about it is each chapter has very short and easy to understand definition of the character quality and a bible verse. Then there are 4 stories that give the reader an idea of what the character would look like in the bible, at home, at school and at play.
My kids are 4 and 2 and when I tell them to go to the book basket they 95% of the time choose these books. The books really are geared more toward elementary age children but my kids seem to get it!
The pictures are large and actually depicted much like a coloring page. I have a friend with 5 kids who will photo copy the page and they kids color it while she reads the story. This is a great family, table time activity.

I have to resist telling you about the others... These are the rocks of our children's growing spiritually and in godly character!

I am a terrible mom....

...when it comes to potty training!

Here I am again, child number two. Because my children are two years apart and it took me a complete year to fully potty train my first child I feel like I didn't get much of a break in between.

I have read a couple of books on how to potty train in a day and one in how to potty train in three days. What a joke!

What am I doing wrong? I am to the point where I am thinking it is okay to discipline for wet pants.  How can it take so long for them to get it?

Do you have any words of encouragement? Anything?

Do you have any secrets? How did you do it?

If anything, pray that we all make it through.

Grins.

Free Character Building Tools!

I am so excited to announce (in case you haven’t already heard), that Focus on the Family has created a character building tool for parents to use at home! All of the materials are downloadable and FREE!

Have a look for yourself!

Kids of Integrity

www.kidsofintegrity.com

Ever Thought about it this way?

I am reading a book called, “Shepherding a Child’s heart” By Tedd Tripp.

I would like to share a bit with you that spoke to me. 

We have all see the families that bend over backward getting each child to their afterschool sports and other lessons. we have all heard to not overdo it and instead say no more to these kinds of activities and try to keep life simple… spend time together as a family!

For me it has never been too much of a temptation simply because we can’t afford all of these extra things.  But I can see how easy it is to slip into the trap.

SOme of the lures nag at me saying….

* it would be a good experience for her

* it will teach her a few things I could never teach her

* her friend is going to be in the class too

~ oh! I forgot to mention…. the she/her I am referring to is 2 1/2 years old!

I had never heard of extra curricular activities explained this way before but to me … it just makes sense!

Author Tedd Trip says about developing special skills,

“What is the problem with having your children involved in a broad range of activities? Many parents who would never allow their child attend public school will send them to dance classes. They will refuse to have them influenced by secular humanism in school, but will expose them to unbiblical ideas of beauty in dance class.

When I ask parents why they put their children in these classes, they explain that it has helped their child’s sense of self-worth. Are their any passages (of scripture) that make the development of self-worth a biblically mandated goal? Shouldn’t we be more concerned with an accurate of sense of self? Is it biblical to build self-worth on a child’s capacity to develop a physical skill? Are we not encouraging  pride that comes from the capacity to perform? Most coaches do not teach the Little Leager who hits a home run to give thanks to God for the timing and coordination necessary to perform such a complex feat.

Many of these activities teach your children to trust in themselves, when the Scriptures say that those who trust in themselves are fools whose hearts turn from GOd. The self-love and self-trust our culture proffers always turns the heart away from God.”

I am interested in your thoughts on this.

 

What you do today affects the future

"Discipline isn't just about winning or losing.
Every power struggle offers you the opportunity
to connect with your child or disconnect.
The relationship you will have with your child
when he's an adolescent
lies in the words and actions you use today.
Ultimately your real power is in that emotional bond."
--Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Kids, Parents and Power Struggles

Teaching Table Manners to your Preschooler

Begin with the idea that mealtimes are pleasant and that good behavior makes them more fun for everyone. Talk with your preschooler about the importance of good manners, and encourage them to think of themselves as a polite person. Set realistic expectations, then gently reinforce them until they become habit.


Your child isn't ready for the finer points of well-mannered dining (such as which fork to use for the cake), but they're old enough to start learning and even perform the basics - depending, of course, on whether they've just turned 2 or are approaching kindergarten age.

Some behaviors to teach and encourage at this age:

Hand washing before coming to the table
No toys at the table
No throwing or grabbing food
No banging utensils
No spitting food out
No yelling or running around the room while others are eating
Saying "please" and "thank you"
Using utensils instead of fingers when appropriate
Asking to be excused at the end of the meal (a nice touch is to teach them to thank the person who prepared the meal)
Clearing dishes from the table to the sink or counter (if the path is clear and the dishes are replaceable)
Some older preschoolers (those who enjoy learning to act "grown up") can handle a few more details. Your child might like to know how to put their napkin in their lap and use it to wipe their mouth, to take small bites, and to chew with their mouth closed. They can learn not to slurp their beverage (by leaving some in the bottom of the glass), to wait until everyone is served before starting to eat, and to comment nicely on the foods they like (but not on those that are "yucky"). Mealtime is a great opportunity for them to polish their communication skills, too, so be sure to include them in discussions.


Your preschooler wants to please you, and they want to be like you, so the best way is to show them how it's done. Talk pleasantly at the table - no lectures, arguments, or raised voices. Say "please" and "thank you" when you ask for something to be passed. And don't read the paper, watch television, talk on the phone, or jump up to tend to other things. Show them that good table manners involve showing respect for the other people at the table.

Consistency will help make good manners a habit for your child in the coming years, so when you introduce a behavior, set expectations and use gentle reminders to reinforce them. Simply hand your child their spoon when they pick up their cottage cheese with their fingers, and prompt a "thank you" when you refill their water.

Give your child strokes for behaving well at the table - when they sit nicely and ask politely, for example. Don't overdo the praise, though, because you don't want them to feel that they're the center of attention whenever you sit down to share a meal.

What should I do when my child misbehaves at the table?

You have a couple of choices. Some parents find it's best to ignore the misbehavior - the demanding, the banging, the mess-making. When this tactic works, it's because the child stops doing whatever gets no response. Other parents find that it's better to find ways to discourage their child's problematic behavior. If your child doesn't say "please," then don't serve that second helping until they do. And some parents simply remove their children from the table when they do things that are unacceptable, explaining that their behavior is not good manners.

If you make it enjoyable for your child to share meals with you - by talking with them and being upbeat - then they're more likely to want to stay and share the good vibes. Next time (or eventually, in any case), they won't do things that get them banished.

What are some good rules at this point?

Different families are comfortable with different rules, so you get to decide. One family might be fine with everyone coming to dinner in their bathing suits or jammies, for example, while another may require that everyone gets dressed for dinner. Your family may enforce the "no elbows on the table" rule, while another has no such rule.

So you'll want to make sure that your child learns to be polite, but there's some leeway on what that means. As they grow, you can teach your child the basics (to say "please" and "thank you," to chew with their mouth closed, to be pleasant) and even some nitty gritty (like which utensil to use and where to put their napkin), but don't get too hung up on formalities. Good manners are really about being considerate of others. If your child keeps that in mind, they'll do fine.

There are a couple of rules you might not want to enforce at mealtimes, though. One is the old "clean your plate" rule. You want your child to learn to stop eating when their body says it's full, not when everything in front of them is gone. So offer small portions, refilling as necessary, and respect their decision to stop eating.

At this age, you might also forgo the rule about sitting at the table until everybody is finished eating. Your preschooler is still active by nature, and it's likely they just can't sit still that long. A better idea might be to let them ask to be excused whenever they're finished. You might want to say that once they leave, they can't come back for more food, though, so they won't get into that habit of coming and going throughout the meal.

Loving Daughters

The Bible tells us this about daughters in Psalm 144:12-13, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: that our garners may be full.”

As corner-stones, polished after the similitude of palace, God desires that our daughters grow up to become strong and beautiful ~ and adorned with all the ornaments belonging to their sex. What are the “ornaments” that the Bible teaches belong to the female sex? Titus 2:4-5 describes them as: soberness, love for family, discretion, purity, excellent housekeeping, goodness, and submission to authority.

That’s a tall order, isn’t it? And the reason that it is so important that our daughters be taught and trained in these areas is because (as the Treasury of David so wisely puts it), “Daughters unite families as corner stones join walls together, and at the same time, they adorn them as polished stones garnishing the structure into which they are builded.”

Daughters are an important part of every family, and it is our duty to teach them how to be a blessing to our families now so that they will understand how to be a blessing to the family they will marry into later on.

Matthew Henry writes, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace or temple. By daughters families are united and connected to their mutual strength, as the parts of a building are by the cornerstones; and when they are graceful and beautiful both in body and mind, they are then polished after the similitude of a nice and curious structure. When we see our daughters well established, and stayed with wisdom and discretion, as cornerstones are fastened in the building; when we see them by faith united to Christ, as the chief cornerstone, adorned with the graces of God's Spirit, which are the polishing of that which is naturally rough, and "become women professing godliness"; when we see them purified and consecrated to God as living temples, we think ourselves happy in them.”

So, how are we to go about accomplishing so great a task?

First of all, we must remember that daughters have a great need for love and security.

1. Daughters need to be treated with kindness.

2. Daughters feel loved when we are patient with them.

3. A critical spirit is a destructive thing to a daughter’s spirit ~ it causes her to feel insecure about who she is and what she is able to do.

4. Comparison also causes daughters to feel insecure about themselves. Daughters are in desperate need of acceptance in order to become the polished corner stone of the family that God desires them to be.

5. It’s a mothers job to identify the special needs that her daughter has and help her to overcome or practically accommodate them.

6. Mothers must be careful not attribute motives, nor take offense, lose patience, or take the ridiculous things that daughters do too personally.

7. Mothers must remember that daughters need to be raised in a happy, loving home in order to feel totally secure. No amount of love, compliments or kindness will make up for the fear that is brought into a daughter’s heart by marital strife or divorce.

Secondly, daughters need to be taught to control their emotions.

1. Whining, gossiping and complaining should not be tolerated. Make every effort to train your daughter to be sensible by teaching her how to be thankful, patient and kind as she deals with her every day issues of life.

2. Emotions must be taught to follow and not allowed to lead. The best teacher is example. Make it your goal to be a good example of this so that your daughter can “see” how this is done.

3. Daughters must be taught that they may not use their “hormones” as an excuse for sin!

4. Teach your daughter how to manage her tears. There is a time for tears ~ when they are hurt, when someone they know or see is seriously injured or dies. But crying is not something that should continue on and on ~ they should be short and brief. Even in the case of death of a loved one: there is a time to cry, and there is a time to cease from crying.

5. The same goes for silliness. Giggling and acting giddy is fine at times, but too much of it makes a girl ridiculous.

Thirdly, daughters must be raised to embrace their femininity.

1. Daughters should be taught to be home-centered. They should be encouraged to love working with their hands ~ both in housework and handiwork.

2. Daughters should be encouraged to wear dresses, fix their hair and want to look pretty.

a. However, we must be diligent to encourage them to be MODEST and pretty. The female body is a beautiful creation of God and modesty teaches them that it is a precious thing that must be saved for their future husband (and not the whole world) to enjoy.

b. We also must be careful not to raise our daughters to be too prissy or “primadonas” who only a mother and father is able to tolerate and love :).

3. Daughters must be encouraged to play with toys that will encourage her to home-centered and not bedroom-centered. (Baby dolls rather than Barbie dolls)

4. Daughters must be taught and trained how to respond to the men around them.

a. Daughters have a God given need for male attention. Teach them when they are little how to love and serve Dad, so that Dad will enjoy being around them.

b. Teach your daughter how to respect her Dad and brothers. This is will prepare her to enjoy good success when she is married to her own man later on.

Mothers are the role models for their daughters, and it is important that we realize that we are teaching our daughters every day by the way we live. As Christian mothers, it is vital that we commit ourselves to living as the godly women that we would want our daughters to grow up to become. This is a tall order, but one which is certainly possible as we grow in the grace and knowledge of our loving God.

Another great article by Mrs. Julie Fink @ Lessons for Ladies

Visit her blog and be blessed by her Bible Studies!

Respecting Sons

I found the most beautiful blog! The writer is full of wisdom and love for our Lord Jesus Christ!

One of her recent posts is called Respecting Sons. In detail explains what we mom's can do TODAY to build sons who will grow to be confident men who lead as the Lord has designed them.

This blog is so full of great wisdom! Check it out!

First Time Obedience Training

Sounds too good to be true doesn't it? FIRST time obedience? Sign me (my kids) up!

We start this process in our home when the kids are around 15 months old but there is never a time when it is too late to start, it may just sound a little different at various ages.
This is how it works. You want to train your children to come to you every time you call their name. Not only that, you want to hear them respond with "Yes Mom, I am coming." Or something like it. My husband and I prefer, "Here I come mom," or, "Okay mom, I am coming." So, say 3 year old Joey is in his room playing and I call, "Joey" from down the stairs. Joey should be trained to respond quickly with words and action.... "Yes mom! (verbal acknowledgement of your call), I am coming (physical acknowledgment)." Once the child has come to you, you can speak to them rather than yelling up the stairs to say what you wanted to say. Then once you give your instruction (ex. It is time to pick up your sister from dance class, I want you put your socks and shoes on now), you can then wait for a verbal agreement (okay mom).

Side note: Results in successful follow through to a command is 95% higher if the instruction was given in a speaking tone and done face to face verses yelling from a distance.

You are looking to have them come to the call of their name 100 % of the time. This will take time and training but it is possible. Because of our natural sin nature you may want to bump that percentage down to 98% but aim high sin is no excuse. Once you have this established you will need to continue working on it. Just like anything we teach our kids, they need constant reminders and refreshers. The magic in this little game is it spills over into all other interactions all day long. The key is you get eye to eye contact and a verbal acknowledgement and in the end a verbal agreement. In Bible times verbal agreements are heavy and sincere commitments. We are looking to have our children obey and follow through.

As you are training them make a game out of it. Tell them, we are going to play a game to practice coming when I call your name. I want you to go over there (or into the next room - somewhere where they will hear you call) and I will call your name. When you hear me I want to you say "Yes mom, I am coming!" and then come running to me. When they do this (if they are 2 -5 years old) all they need is a great verbal reward for playing the game. My kids love it. I try to use different tones and sing songy sounds each time I call them. They come running and I give them a hug or a high five. Then when I call them and it is not the 'game' they seem happy to do it!

If you are training a very young one who can't verbalize yet. What you do is say their name from across the room and then go to the child take them by the hand and lead them back to where you were when you called them. And say, 'say, coming." or "okay."

Sometimes I will call them throughout the day just to see if they do it. When they get to me, I tell them, "I just wanted to tickle your belly." They eat it up!

Now, what do you do if they don't come or say okay mom. Well, if you really want to see first time obedience, you will need to decide on a consequence. For us, since they are all 3 and under I tell them, "Opps! That's not what you are suppose to say. Let's try that again." And they usually choose a better way the second time. If there is absolute defiance, I will have them sit on the couch quietly and when I decide, I will call them to me. Their response at this point will tell me if they are ready to move on.

It is fascinating to me that this one thing spills over into all other instruction you give. Eventually they will not only say okay to coming but they will say okay to the instruction you give once they get to you. And if they don't simply tell them how they should respond. This is training. We parents need not feel bad for putting words in their mouths. We are training their actions, words, thought patterns and attitudes.
When they are young tell them how to think, and what to think, what to say and how to say it. They need us! Now go train and have fun doing it!

Invisible Woman

Here is an encouraging word for you! This video was sent to me at the perfect time! I was at home trying to be the authority figure in a home of an almost 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 3 week old! Believe it or not, my 3 week old regularly ties me to the couch (nursing) while my 2 year old strips herself to her cute cubby bare naked bum while my 3 year old decides he wants to be a super hero and fly from his bed to the other side of the room. When dad comes home at 6:30pm, I am ready to play hide and seek in a place that NO ONE will find me!

What I am learning during this time is that this is a test of how well they obey when I speak and not physically lead them to obey. Needless to say, first time obedience training will be revisited in our home!

Whatever your situation at home or in your own skin, I pray you are encouraged by this insightful and encourageing video.

Learning in the Car

Time in our cars with the kids can be times of invaluable conversation and getting to know what is going on in the mind of your child.

I get a weekly email from Life With Your Kids and I really liked this weeks ideas so I thought I'd share them with you.
The article is below but be sure to explore this mom's wonderful blog and site. She is rich with wisdom in how to raise godly children.

Learning in the Car
Even when we try and reduce our busyness and stay at home more we still find ourselves in the car often. This time can be wasted time or it can be used to our fullest advantage.
We have this opportunity with our children every day that we get in the car and yet our eyes are so often on the destination, on the chores that we need to accomplish that we miss the relationship building opportunities, we miss the discipleship moments.
Over the years we have used travelling time, be it a short 15minute run to town or an hours drive to visit friend, or a day’s travelling as we drive to the city, we have used this time to train our children and to build memories.
Training
When Nomi was a baby we would spend whole days in town. We had preschool for Josh, Nomi had doctor appointments and we would wrap up the day by going to the pool (crazy idea but that is what I would do regularly!!) By the time we bundled into the car to head home the kids would be far beyond. They would be snarky with each other, they would be grumpy. Often we drove home with the two kids (4yo and 3yo) with their hands over their mouths (this was to remind them if they couldn’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all) or they would be sitting on their hands (which was to remind them that their hands were to be used for blessing others not hurting!) These were physical reminders that gave them practice in the things that they needed to learn.
Another situation we often enforce (even now with older children) is complete silence as we drive home. This is like Room Time, or rest time. We get so overwhelmed (or hyped up) or we become so tired while we are out and about that sometimes we just need time to ourselves. The car is as good a room as any. If we were home, they would be in their bedrooms, so we just use the car as a room. This also works when we are out and about and they need to ‘find’ their self control. They go to the car – it offers privacy and space to do some thinking.
There is so much we can do in the area of training our children while we travel – we can question our children to see what they know and understand, we can tell stories that have a lesson to learn, we can paint scenarios for them to consider, we can practice the things we are learning.

Education
Driving in the car also gives us opportunity to continue our children’s education – to engage their brains.
We listen to stories or seminars on CD or someone reads aloud
We play language, math or general knowledge games

We have discussions
One of our favourite things to do is to see pictures in the clouds. We only have clouds in the sky for the ‘wet season’ which is on its way now so we are back again enjoying this activity together.
I like to ask one child to talk about something he is reading. Though it is a good time for me to catch up with his thinking it is also good for all the children to listen and ask questions. It is an opportunity to be together as a family, and show interest in each other’s interests and learning.
If we are heading into town to do town chores then it is a good opportunity to talk to the children about that aspect of life. We may talk about banking, the building industry, services versus providers, the fireman, the postman, the baker. The children need to understand how all these things fit together, how Daddy’s money fits into the picture, how technology has made our life easier (harder?). They need to be aware of the decisions processes that go on in our head, how we compare one company to another, how we organise our way around town, how we prioritise things. As we discuss what is going on in our head, it opens up all sorts of conversations with our children.
Our children always, always, take a book with them when we go anywhere. This has been helpful for the times I get caught up either in a shop, or with someone I meet in the street. The children can use their time wisely by reading.

Memories
We live in a remote part of Australia and driving long distance is a part of normal life. We have learnt that the drive is as much a part of our holiday (or day out) as the destination. This means we consider each other’s needs during the day instead of the attitude that we grin and bear the drive and enjoy life when we get there.
When we head out of town, driving to Darwin for our holidays, we always play a particular CD. We play one CD leaving town, and then just down the track we play another CD. Always! This is tradition! We reverse the order of these two CD’s on our return trip. Music plays a big part in us enjoying our travel.
One of the things that we do, is encourage photography so if someone sees a great shot then we stop. I always tell the story that my Grandma used to say “Oh, that would have made a lovely picture” 10 minutes after we had passed by. It drove my dad nuts! So we have decided to say it then and there and the driver, if possible, will stop.

Relationship Building
We can take this opportunity, of being in a car together, to get to know each other just like Peter and I did way back when we were engaged.
We can talk to the children about the things that are precious on our heart, our beliefs, our dreams, our hopes
We can invite our children to share the things that are on their heart
We can take a moment to address heart issues (this is best done one on one)
We can teach about God – either drawing from the things we drive past or from something on our heart
We can tell stories of our past, building their heritage
Talking and shared experiences are the building blocks in getting to know people. We need to get to know our children, and our children need to get to know us.

Driving in the car may simply be a necessity in your life but I encourage you to start seeing it as a tool you can use to reach your discipleship goals in your family. Take a moment this weekend to think through the driving opportunities in your family and how you can use them train, educate, build memories and strengthen relationships.

Watch your: Thoughts, Words, Actions, Habits, Character

This would be a great tool for our children (and parents to memorize)
You could have a leader say the first half of the phrase and everyone else
completes the phrase.
I love teaching my children great sayings to live by. I also love seeing them live it out! How happy our Father in heaven is when we do the same!


Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Defying the odds???

Mom needs to brag a moment. Bear with me.

My 22 month old is potty training! I am in shock!

Her brother who is 3.5 years old is also practicing using the toilet... for the last year!

This is what is so shocking, If you know anything about toilet training there are a few DON'Ts.

1) never train when a child is sick

2) never train when you are in the midst of a big transition : moving or new baby coming.

3) never compare your children

Well, the little girl has had a fever for 2 days and still tells me when she has to go, and

we are moving in two weeks, and we will be having another baby in about 3 months!

Let's hope she really is defying the odds!

Thanks for listening to my moment of joy. After all it does have to do with 'child training.'

Little Life Lessons - Peacemaker

I made this little book for my son to teach him what it means to be a peacemaker. He loved it!

Now throughout the day when I see him giving up something for his sister or for talking through a conflict, I tell him, "That's wonderful that you did that! You are a peacemaker."



We read this book during reading time before bed or naptime. Let me know how it affects your family. I love to hear. Also let me know if there is anything you think I should change in it.



I have more books that teach godly character on the way!

Be a Peacemaker Instead of a Troublemaker

No Grabbing, try asking.

At our house, we have a "no grabbing" rule. I works very well 98% of the time. It has even worked surprisingly well in public (with children we don't know from the library or the park).

This is our protocol.
Child 'A' has something that child 'B' wants or was playing with.
Child 'B': May I have that? (while holding their hand out to recieve)
Child 'A': OFTEN gives it up.

if they don't want to ...
Child 'A' is encouraged to respond: You may have it when I am finished with it.
Child 'B': Thank you.

As mom and mediator, I make sure the child 'B' actually gets their turn. Rarely do I have to make child 'A' give it up. For some strange reason, my kids willingly give up that item when the other asks for it. If grabbing is involved the answer is a hearty 'no' with crying and pulling.

This routine seems to work well of us. It has surprised other moms while at the library and park too. If a child we don't know wants something from my child I simply tell them. "At our house, if you would like something someone else has you just say, "May I have that." Try it. Ask him and see what he says." They do and they get it!

I would love to hear if this works for your kids too!
By the way my 3 year old and my 20 month old are doing this! So try not to limit those little guys! These ages are probably the best time to train. Start positive habits now! It also teaches delay of gratification. They will need to wait for the answer and they will need to possibly wait for their turn.